A Haven For Lost Sheep

Still alive!

2006-03-09T04:13:00.000-05:00

I made it safely over to my new home. Believe me, it is a shit hole. We've had a few deaths since I have been in country. It don't know if the death toll will rise with what is rumored lately. Yet, one must realize that rumors are just rumors.

The conditions over here aren't that bad and I know they could be worse. I just enjoy the states better. As it looks right now, I should be home again around the early spring of next year. God damn, that just sounds a long way off. I know that shit will continue to happen and the world will move on during my absence... I just hope I am not left too far behind.

OMFG!

2006-01-13T10:19:00.000-05:00

What's up guys? I got back to Drum and all. It was a fun week, not really! Let's see, Monday I went to sick call for a male problem, but wasn't seen for some bullshit reason. Tuesday I went back, was seen, got my meds, and headed over to ACU/RFI. That was fucking bullshit, we stand out, in PTs, for almost four hours in 35-40 degree weather. Finally, we get done and I am short changed. Since I am Xshort, I didn't get my ACU bottoms. Wednesday we had extreme cold weather issue. That wasn't bad at all, but it did kind of suck since I almost busted my ass going to get my shit. Thursday we had a run and I ran with my testicular problem, which totally fucking sucked fucking balls. After a day of pretty much bullshit, we had formation and then we done for the day! Woop woop! Four day weekend. You can kiss my ass ARMY... until Tuesday.

So anyway, that was about the just of the week. I found out where in Afghanistan I am going. I didn't find out much about what we are doing there, but I did find out that I am an ambulence driver. From what my squad leader said, we are the only two that will be leaving the post. He thinks we may run into some shit... maybe. I would like to earn a Bronze Star. Hooah! heh.

I still have yet to find out when I am leaving for Afghanistan... By the way, here in Drum. we've been having some pretty warm weather... mid to upper 40's! Oh yeah, break out the mother fucking shorts!

Just an update

2005-12-29T11:37:00.000-05:00

Okay, I made it home safely. I had a decent Christmas. I a couple of DVD's and $120, not the best, but better than I had originally expected.

I showed up a day early and surprised the shit out of my mom. I had my sister take her to the mall early Friday and I met up with them... She was very surprised. I, finally, watched the movie Crash. That was a pretty good movie. I have to admit though... It is pretty predictable, but atleast worth a rent. I bought the seventh season of the Simpsons on DVD, very good! I love the Simpsons.

I went to the movies and watched King Kong. I wouldn't recommend it. It was good, I think, it was just very long. I was not very impressed. I plan to see Narnia, soon. There are quite a few movies I want to see, but Narnia is at the top of my list. I have been seeing Aurora a lot lately, she is very cute... though she is spoiled and I will have fun breaking that habbit from her. She lacks a lot of disipline, but I did expect. Anyway, I am running behind and don't have time to post as much as I would like, I will try to hit it up later!

This shit sucks!

2005-12-19T12:13:00.000-05:00

Dude, I know I am a whiney little bitch. I am getting tired of all the snow. It literally snows here like every other day. This place is a shit hole... if God has to take a shit, its on Ft Drum, NY and Watertown gets the leftovers.

So, I drank a bit this weekend. It's my first time drinkiing in quite a while. I also headed into Syracuse with a friend and his family. It wasn't too bad, but the mother fuckers kept arguing making me feel in the middle. I mean they would literally put me in the middle of the arguments and shit. I love those guys to death, but fuck leave me out of it.

I am getting a bit more depressed. I feel lonely here. Everyone has told me that Ft Drum is a lonley place, so I know it's normal, but fuck dude... I kinda wish for once in my life I could find happiness some where...

I got some bullshit PMI shit to do,. no clue what it is, but it requires us to suit up in battle rattle, so I am sure it is cold! I should be home around 1700 hopefully!

Here is some news

2005-12-17T14:24:00.000-05:00

So, it's been said by the commander that we are leaving in Feb of next year. I don't really believe it because any time anyone asks for a specific date no one seems to know it. I, personally, think that they want us packed up and ready to roll by mid-Feb and we are going to be dipping out in early Mar, but that is just me. I am actually looking forward to heading over there.

The barracks I currently stay in is a big shit hole. It looks like the carpet as every bodily fluid possible on it and the shower we have as no head on it. On the inside, it looks like a fucking prison. If a soldier were to want to surf the internet, watch cable, or talk on a land line, he would have to pay to have it connected and pay the monthly charges. That is completely fucking gay! In Afghanistan, the barracks are new, one soldier a room, and it has internet! Woop woop! I heard that the PX and shit over there are pretty big and have a lot of shit in them. Thats's cool, except, I am going over there and saving my money... hopefully pay off my damn truck and buy a new one! =)

Well guys!

2005-12-13T21:34:00.000-05:00

Sorry for the long delay for an update. I finally made it to Ft Drum. Yes, the rumors are true. It is a grade A, all american shit hole! I guess that's okay. I got assigned to an aviation unit which sounds cool, but since I am support for those guys, I guess it's not as cool as I had hoped.

We are deploying to Afganistan in Feb of next year, so that sucks. The guys over there are saying that we'll be gone for 12 to 15 months. Hey, I can survive that, no where can be as cold as it is here! It was -15 degrees F today!

Mono?!

2005-12-04T23:37:00.000-05:00

By the way bitch, you didn't get mono from my ass!

Repeat! Pvt Hattaway has NO mono!

Strange times!

2005-12-04T22:32:00.000-05:00

I encourage everyone to read this:http://www.blurty.com/users/lilolme_2003.

I admit it! I appearently have a problem of 15 seconds of 'love makin'. Okay, now that it's out, we can get onto more important things!

Damn, after 14 hours a driving today, I am only in MD! I couldn't tell you the city I am in even if I wanted to... I do know that I am in MD. I have a suite with a jacuzzi in it! It's pretty nice. I got wings from this wings place across the street and they were so hot that I couldn't eat but like three... I mean my lips are still burning and it's been like two hours. heh! I had just got out of the jacuzzi all naked and shit and decided to check out the free wireless here in the hotel and see J-man on. I decided that it be a good time to clear my chest if he was up to it. He was!... Sort of... After I apologized he told me to go read the page listed above.

I couldn't help but chuckle as a skimmed through a couple of the topics... I didn't get a chance to read it word by word until I called Richard to point it out. At first, I thought the matter could be handled privately among friends, but then she had to bring up the Army... Something she doesn't even have the balls to join...! Fuck that and fuck her!

To Whitney:
I still can't help but laugh at the fact you beg for my time, but don't have the balls to make plans with me. I don't mind hanging out with you, but when you have friends who haven't seen you in forever, they want to hang out, too. Also, I have a daughter, as you know, who I want to spend as much time as possible with. Just because you are selfish and think that you should monopolize my time doesn't mean you will, sorry. I also want to see friends and family. Fuck your southern bell bullshit, god damn, it's 2005 and be a fucking woman and fucking pick up a phone if you want to talk, god fucking damn.

And fuck that shit, if we are going to be honest, you haven't left Jeremy's house because you know you have a easy fucking ride. People like you don't seek out anything exept the easy way and by God you have found one! "Thinks fall through"... my fucking ass. You are just fucking lazy and don't want to fucking spend money... I wouldn't either if I could leech off someone like you do. You paid what? $500? For what? Rent, utilities, cable, the internet, etc. Damn, dude, I am in the Army and I can barely get a deal like that! Fuck! That was too much for ya, eh? So, then you get it knocked down to like $350! Hell, I wouldn't leave either. I can accept that, but, as you say, "Don't lie." Nothing fell through except your integrity! Even I am not shitbag enough to fuck around on someone and continue to mooch!

And that God damned Finch CD was supposed to be sent like 6 months ago, so you can shut the hell up about the address shit! Fuck that. I don't feel like hearing bullshit. Speak the fucking truth. Besides, you didn't even mention the burned CDs or Pictures you sent at my house that you spent "$40" which was really "$21.73", since the postage is labelled on the package. So, again, just tell the truth. I am flattered by the time you spent and that you were thoughtful enough to send me pictures of the fun you guys were having, but fuck don't put words in my mouth.

Everyone that warned you, except Richard, doesn't even know me. Heh. Richard only said anything, because orignally, Sarah and I were having problems, Pfft.. Besides, you did what you did. I didn't rape you, force you, drug you up, intoxicate you in anyway, etc. You fucked because you wanted to, stop playing a fucking victim... god fucking damn... Grow a fucking back bone, STAND UP, and SAY, "I FUCKED HIM BECAUSE I WANTED TO!"

You hurt Jeremy because you wanted to! I tried to fucking get you to tell him you didn't want to be with him, but you said, "I have no where to go, I am trapped". I actually have saved AIM convo's of this. In those convo's you talk about not loving him and etc. So, again, god damn, just have a fucking back bone. And I never fucking neglected you... (The more I type the less I feel I should even lower myself to you, but the army comments really fucking pissed me off) I talked to you as much as everyone else, which was whenever you felt like answering the phone or calling back. And anyone who knows me knows I am not a badass... Jesus Christ. If you could only solve medical breakthroughs so easily!

Ya know, I would worry about those comments you made about my child and I, but ya know something, I realize you have no clue what a good parent is, seeing as you have none. So, I will just ignore them with the exception of the adoption thing... shut the fuck up! She ain't adopted is she, so again, you know nothing. By the way, Zada, who virutally hates me, my mother (a good parent), my sister, and anyone who knows Aurora, are all in agreement that I do exceptionally well as a parent with the given tools. =) Thanks anyway though!

If you got over it so unreally fast, then why did you drink and etc. ? I don't understand what any of that meant.

Yeah, whatever. You think I am gay. Go fuck yourself. Don't talk about my mother either. What was said was (in a nutshell) "Richard may have feelings for you, and while you are not that way, it may lead him on". Besdies, I believe with the amount of females that have been in my house and left articles of clothing that she has found... I know she knows I am not gay... pfft.

Again, trying to look like a victim. I missed you in San Antonio... Hell, I missed everyone while I was there, just shut the hell up. I didn't fuck anything while I was there because I don't want to risk my health. After all, I am a fucking medic. What are you? (Oh I know this one!) A leech!

If I were gay, I wouldn't have wasted the time to fuck you, duh! And if you were just a booty call, believe me stank breath doesn't turn me on! Oh, by the way, if you knew how to work it and keep me interested, you'd get more out of it. If you doubt it, ask the other girls who keep cumming back.

And now to your Army comments!!! Fuck you. Don't ever speak to me again. I have no fucking use for anyone who tries to take away something I fucking earned. Something YOU COULDN'T EVEN FUCKING EARN! You even admitted to being a piece of shit who couldn't hack it! I have always led my own fucking way, obviously you have no clue as to who I am. Anyone who knows me knows that I am my own leader. I joined the army to see the world? HAHA! You are seriously a dumb bitch! I was trying to get stationed back at Benning! But that's because I wanted to see soooooo much of COLUMBUS, you dumb ass. Job security was a bennifit of the military and having a child I do need some sort of job security. Oh and bitch, I hacked it as a civillian, I hacked it a lot better than you are doing! I decided I needed more pride in my life. Now, I have so much pride... pride you will never have. I am proud of my country, my army, my fellow soldiers, and my daughter. Oh, and in the civillian world, the one that you sit on your big ass leeching off of someone's mother's money, I made my own direction and money... heh!

Everything in your whole post was fine until I read the Army comments. You should know that I take it very seriously and I am very proud of what I do. Hell, just the other night I had to teach Zada a lesson. I have a "Support Our Troops" decal and she called it stupid and she walked. Don't fuck with that. I was even going to ignore the Aurora comments too, but you just had to keep those fat fingers typing until you hit something you should have left alone.

I am not Richard, I am not forgiving. You fucked up and I have no use for you what so ever. I felt bad because I thought maybe I did something wrong, but you are just what Richard said you were and that is fine. I don't give a rat's ass. Leave me the fuck alone and forget my name. And, this I will ask, because I am dead ass about this, will you not use my fucking name and the fucking army in the same damn sentence? Lastly, you go fuck yourself! I am a solider and I don't pimp. According to everyone, but you, I am a good father, decent friend, and a satisfying lover to those who know how to satsify me. I agree that I am a piece of shit, though.

Oh and its pretty funny that such a christian as Ryan claims to be that he is so judgemental, but ya know what! His God will make him answer for that! Heh! Just as mine will make me suffer for my sins... THAT I DON'T HIDE! =) I will always be better than anyone in that group of individuals, because I don't have to hide behind anything.

I know you feel like a whore for what you did, fine okay. I never said you where, but fuck Whit, doesn't mean you have to take it out on me. You are a grown ass woman... You fucked around on Jeremy because YOU WANTED to fuck around on Jeremy. That is why you will never be more than a leech, you lack back bone.... leeches have no back bone... pure anatomy. You are no victim.

- Pvt Hattaway

I heard it will be snowing in the morning when I head out... I am kind of scared, I hope I arrive safely!... I am sure there are others who done, but I do!

I will let ya know how it turns out as soon as I can!

Sup Bitches!

2005-12-03T16:31:00.001-05:00

Well guys, my stay in Columbus has finally come to an end. All the delays and shit couldn't stop the death of fun. It's cool, the sweet wouldn't be as sweet without the bitter, eh?

I have to admit, the travel here and the long drive back is more than worth it, because I finally got to see 'heterosexual' Richard making out with a fellow. Awesome for a not gay guy, eh? Oh well, whatever floats he.. erm.. his boat.

For those of you that don't know, I bought a new automobile. It's pretty cool because I paid for this one all by myself! Hooah? I can't say that I want to go to Ft Drum, but I think it will bea good experience. Atleast it's a good way to start off my military career, instead of becoming some lazy bitch in some bitch support unit.

To Richard, I had fun and I will enjoy wearing your jacket up in NY. Just kidding, I guess if you want it you can come by my house and get it. To 'the Fags' I must admit I will miss you guys, you are a cool buncha gays. To Ken, heh, peace out! To the rest of ya, take care and be safe!

I gotta go finish packing... I will make everyone an offer! If you want to pack my shit -cough-, just give me a call before I finish!

What's up guys?

2005-11-18T13:04:00.000-05:00

Not to much has happened over the last few days. I haven't really been doing much of anything, besides some last minute touch ups before the big move! Ft Drum, Ny. I have to admit, I have always wanted to travel to New York, but I think when I said New York, I meant the city, not upstate. Hell, what can I do? Fuck it! I signed up for this shit, so its time to bite down and take care of business.

I hear that Whitney and Jeremy are haven't tons of problems. I feel that I am some what to blame, but in reality I am not. I am not saying what I did was right. Hell, I will be the first one to tell you that what I did was fucked up, hell its the most fucked up thing I have done in a very long time. But ya know what? How long ago did it happen? Shit, J-man and I weren't even friends when it occurred. The only reason it stays such a big deal is because they continue to live together which negates me from being the problem. If they decided to really separate, the shit will finally die down. Just look at Anne-Marie, Ryan, and Bryce. Hell, Bryce WAS Ryan's friend, how fucked up is that shit?

But, ya know I am tired of hearing shit from anyone or feeling like a dirt bag, because I am not, I am doing more with my life than any of you assholes in Columbus! Fuck you if you feel otherwise. Serve your country once and learn to save another soldier's life. Then come talk to me... otherwise you ain't shit. No philosopher, computer bitch, lazy ass, or architect can compare to me, a combat medic for the US Army!

Found out some news!

2005-11-15T15:50:00.000-05:00

Well, the weekend has long passed and now its back to the work week.

I have some news for all who are courious, I am 99.9% certain to be going to Ft Drum, Ny. According to the sponsorship letter, I will be headed to 2nd Brigade and they are scheduled to go to Iraq in July. I am happy, it gives me time to train and get to know what my role is before being dropped in the mix.

I recieved more pictures of Aurora, but I have to admit this one is my far the cutest one of them all.

I am NOT gay!

2005-11-12T15:06:00.000-05:00

Wow... Last night was an experience that I won't soon forget! Well... The parts I can remember. Hehe

It all started about 1500 yesterday. We headed to Pat's, about three hurricanes and some oreos later, we were feeling good. We decided to relocate to Dick's (Its not a gay bar). I choked down a margarita, I wasn't in the mood for tequila. After pissing off the waitress (Someone bet her that she was over 200 lbs), we headed off to the Leapin' Lizard. This is where the night begins to get a bit fuzzy. Couvi invited a couple of females to the sausage fest. There was five penises and two tacos. After a phone call back home, I head into the bar and begin to drown. I kill my drink and everyone elses. About an hour of this, I start to break glasses and shit, so we get kicked out. This is where my memories run short. According to the guys, we headed to another bar named Esquire, where I continue to drink. We leave there, because, again, I get kicked out. This time, I just passed out. While outside waiting for everyone to realize I got kicked out, this old ass marine starts talking shit to me. Before anything happens, Cirillo comes out and jumps in. The guy appearently didn't want to suffer Cirillo's and my drunken wraith! Mahaha! I can actually remember that scene, a bit.

I don't know what happened between then and when I puked, but the next thing I remember is looking at my puke, which was a red nasty color and had a foul oder that still taints my nostrils. It was in front of a really nice, expensive hotel. The manager seemed like a really nice guy and offered us a cab. Ghost medic and I head back to the bay.

Back at the bay, I take off my puke covered jeans and lay down. Appearently sometime during the night I had to take a piss and headed off to the latrine. On my way back, I got lost and ended up in someone else's bunk, with him in it. According to the Echo boys, he was holding me with his arm in our sleep when they woke us up. I am not gay and it was only a drunken mistake. Anyway, I hop up and apologize and sleep in my bunk...

Along the way, we have lost one of the soldiers and at this very moment he is MIA. I have been calling him all day. I do hope he is okay...

Wow...

2005-11-11T14:42:00.000-05:00

I hope everyone is having a great Veteran's Day. Since it is a federal holiday, I have the day off! Woohoo!

Since I have the day off today, we all went out last night. I refuse to say where, but it was pretty sleezy... heh. I won't be doing that again. I got to admit it was a fun time, we all got pretty buzzed and just hung out. It would have been much better if my head wasn't clouded with the part of me that is missing, but I am sure in time everything will work out one way or another.

Pictures...

2005-11-10T15:35:00.000-05:00

This is a picture of Aurora, my daughter. Now, tell me she doesn't look just like her dad? The sad part about that statement is that isn't a good thing. This is the cutest picture out of the batch I just recieved.

Another day...

2005-11-10T13:28:00.000-05:00

Another unhappy day for an unhappy PVT, or should I say PV2. Well, I can't really bitch. We haven't done anything all day. The company have a CI today, so we just hung out upstairs and talked. Afterward, we just came over to the rec center and hung out. I am kind of pissed we haven't finished the project we were ordered to do. We have a lazy ass CPL who feels shaming is more important. Well, I sort of have to agree when it involves manual labor and stuff, but this is just painting. Not only is it just painting, it's painting a conference room for the brass at 232. Duh! Sometimes it's not good to piss off the people who can make life hell for ya.

Today I opened up a myspace account... for the hell of it. For anyone who wants to visit it: http://www.myspace.com/drunkenmedic.

So, I have to admit I am still damaged over the tremadic events that occured over this week. I don't think I will be able to over come this for a while, but I am trying to handle it as well as I can. -shrugs- Atleast I don't have AIDS...

Damn it!

2005-11-09T17:51:00.000-05:00

Damn! Looks like everything I had hoped for is slowly slipping away. I honestly believe, sometimes, that joining the Army was the worst thing I could have done for myself!

I don't know, being at FSH just has the buzz-kill effect. No matter how happy I am at the moment, it is always short lived. I was very excited about actually leaving this hell hole, but now it seems I will be here for another week, possibly two! Why? Because the NCOs here don't give a damn about a Privates. That's fine, I can understand, but why the hell did you pick a training base to be stationed at? Most everyone would love to come to FSH, its like the Sham Kingdom... But no one is willing to work for a PVT.

Things at home are starting to suck too! I learned that all the devotion I have shown doesn't mean jack shit to some people. I have worked my ass off to please them and for what? What do I have to show for it? The time that I have invested all seems to be wasted.... But ya know what I say? Fuck it! That's what I say, but it isn't what I mean... especially when I can't sleep at night due to my mind being filled with a bunch of bullshit back home. My daughter is sixteen months old now and I haven't seen her for the last nine. My baby's mama is afraid to send me pictures of her with her soon to be stepfather because 'she is always smiling with him,' she says. Heh. Fine, I can deal with that, too. Is there anything else someone would like to stress me out with? I am open for any volunteers? Any unclaimed bastard childern or something? Hell, that is all I need next... heh.

Our beloved kingdom bay has been taken over. It started out small. We had Forty other soldiers from another company move in and ass rape our great set up! Then, the SDS moved his shit up there, too! Hooah! Finally, we have the convicts of another company living with us too. Its way to loud to have movie nights and we're barely able to have study nights, I help the other soldier's study.

Ugh! I can't get out of this GOD DAMNED place fast enough!!!

Finally..

2005-11-04T17:15:00.000-05:00

As of today FSH can kiss my ass! Only a supposed week left here in SA. I don't really mind it all that much. Hell, what can I say? I actually do like the town. I am gonna miss it. I will also miss the people that I have met here, as strange as they may be.

I have much business to attend to when I get back home... I am not sure how long it will be. I should have between seven and fourteen days of leave. Afterwards, I should, hopefully, be heading to Germany!!! Yes, I know what your saying, "Beer, food, and hookers!" Haha. I have only one thing to say to that, "Let the crazy European sex oddesey begin!"

Today was another sham day. They were holding a air show at Randolph Air Force Base. It was mildly entertaining. Well, actually, when the PJ's (Parajumpers) jumped, I was starting to get a chubby... even though that shit ain't for me!

Changes

2005-10-21T13:45:00.000-04:00

8 months I have been away. It seems funny, because I can't remember what it was like back home. The other day I downloaded 'Google Earth' just so I could see what it looks like back home.

I don't think Columbus will still feel the same as it used to when I arrive back home. I think I will be as strange to the city as the new city is strange to the new Hattaway. Everyone has changed since I last hung out with them. They tell me all of these new stories of these new people and I feel as lost as a young black man in a white neighborhood.

As much as I want the old life back, I could never be the same as I was before the military. I hate to admit it, but I have changed. I have changed to be a stronger man who can stand on his own to feel and has the drive to be successful. It wasn't until I had a coversation with my second half last nght, that I realized exactly how much I have changed. They pointed out what I was once upon a time and what I am now. Before I was everything I hate now... But even knowing that I am much better than I was once before, I still feel as though I am a failure, a failure at many things. I am struggling with regret everyday and remorse for my actions, but that's normal isn't it?

I heard an old country song on the radio yesterday as the CPL and I went out into SA. Now, I can understand the true meaning of it and relate to it... This line best describes the feelings I am having right now, 'I am much to young to feel this damned old'. I am 21 going on 64, but ya know something? I will survive, because that is what I was born to do! Hooah!